Interview with Marie Theres Relin by Shiva Akhavan Rad in Farsi
Interview with Marie Theres Relin
Relationship with Maria Schell:
- How did being part of a family of esteemed artists, including your mother Maria Schell, uncle Maximilian Schell, and grandmother Margarethe Schell von Noé, impact your childhood experiences and contribute to your identity as both a person and an actress and author? Could you share some insights about your upbringing?
For me as a child, art, film and theatre were part of everyday life. It was as if my mother had a bakery and was known throughout the city for her good bread. As a three-year-old, I remember saying, „Mummy, you know a lot of people!“ when a bus stopped and people rushed towards my mother. It wasn’t until I reached puberty that I realised that people in public life have to fight for their privacy. I learned to live with that.
My mum was a good mother when she was around. But she travelled a lot and earned money for the family. My grandmother brought me up and I copied her life – as family memory does to you: she gave up her acting career for a poet and had four children. I only had three.
- What are some of your earliest memories with your mother, Maria Schell?
„Vent verte“, her perfume, is one of my most formative memories. It is goodbye and infinite joy at the same time. When she would drive away, lean over me and take in her scent, I knew that I would miss her and I became infinitely sad. But when she came home from a trip at night, sat down by my bed and I smelled her in my deep sleep, I would sleepily throw my arms around her neck and my heart would leap for joy.
- How did Maria’s acting career affect your relationship with her? Were there times you felt overshadowed or inspired by her success?
I dragged the name Schell through my life like a rucksack. People succumb to „pigeonhole thinking“ and make comparisons where there is nothing to compare. My mother was a world star, only a few can call themselves that. As an author, I have now freed myself a little from the family legacy known as the rucksack. Nevertheless, an organiser announced me at a reading as a „scion of the Schell family“ – I’ll probably never grow up 😉
- What qualities of your mother, Maria Schell, did you admire the most?
She was a kind-hearted person and she had an education of the heart. Despite her global career, she still remained the simple girl from the mountain pasture. She had a great sense of humour and was the „walking love in person“. Unfortunately, many people knew how to exploit her good nature during her illness (manic depression).
Career Beginnings in Acting
- What initially drew you to acting, and how did your journey in the entertainment industry begin?
I was literally born into acting. Even today, it is still the profession that requires the least effort from me. But back then I became an actress because I hadn’t learnt anything else. My mother took me out of school when I was 16 – without a school-leaving certificate – and sent me to Paris to learn French. A bit careless, I wouldn’t have done that with my children. After a year I spoke perfect French and the agent I was staying with suggested me for the British film „Secret Places“. I got the part and was celebrated in the USA as a „young Ingrid Bergman or Liv Ullman“. I was working full-time at 17, I could have been the „third international Schell“, but my career was short-lived because I became a mother at the age of 22.
- What were some of the biggest challenges you faced when starting your artistic career, and how did you overcome them?
When I received the „Golden Camera“ in 1987, I had a Hollywood offer from a French producer. They wanted me to play the lead role in „The Veiled Empress„, as Sultan F. Murray Abraham, as the antagonist Faye Dunaway and as my slave Grace Jones. Of course I happily accepted, was invited to the USA several times as a newcomer star and was passed around as a starlet. The producer promised me and his backers an extraordinary career. Shortly before filming was due to start, it turned out that I had fallen for a scam: the producer generated money with the young talent and the star cast and went into hiding. Only F. Murray Abraham had an option paid in advance, so I stayed in Germany without a job because everyone thought I was in Hollywood. That’s how I came to meet the playwright Franz Xaver Kroetz at a panel discussion entitled „Can love still be saved?” Love could be saved, the result was three children, but not my career.
- Could you share a memorable role that has had a significant impact on you personally or professionally?
My first role in „Secret Places“ was unusual: on the one hand, it was about a German refugee in England during the Second World War who is bullied at school because of her origins – a true story. Secondly, it was an all-female production in 1983. From the director to the producer, there were only women on set, except for the cameraman. Unfortunately, the anti-war film was never shown in Germany.
- Are there any particular actors or directors who have inspired you throughout your career?
The actress I admire the most is Meryl Streep. Apart from that, I love the diversity in film. I’m an absolute cinema freak.
Writing:
- What inspired you to become a writer, and how did you start your journey in literature?
I started writing out of ’self-defence‘. Our marriage was in crisis and I went to a lawyer for the first time in 2000 to find out what my rights were. We had a prenuptial agreement and I couldn’t afford a divorce. So I turned my life around, founded Hausfrauenrevolution.com and from then on fought for women’s rights, especially mothers‘ rights, and became a columnist, journalist and author. We separated in 2005 and I divorced in 2006 as the bestselling author of “Wie Frauen ticken” (How Women Tick). The book has sold over 200,000 copies.
- Can you tell us about your latest book? What themes or messages do you hope readers take away from it?
This book idea existed for 23 years until it was realised. I suggested to my then husband that year that we write a book together. But back then I was just a housewife to him. When we travelled together in 2022 to bring his old Mercedes from Tenerife to Germany, I came up with the title „Szenen keiner Ehe” (Scenes of No Marriage). He responded and we wrote daily on one side without knowing the content of the other. We sent the manuscript to the publisher separately and it became a bestseller last autumn. In the meantime, I have become his colleague.
But the story was supposed to be about a woman who had found her independence and who very slowly, through the 24 ex-husbands at her side and the 9 weeks, falls into old patterns, asks herself why, finds an answer and regains her independence with every kilometre to her home.
My latest, as yet unpublished book „Briefe an eine Ungeborene Liebe” (Letters to an Unborn Love) shows a woman who repeats the same inner film over and over again for three decades, with the conclusion: feelings stay young and a repetition of events persists until you change yourself and not the other person.
My books are made from “discover yourself”.
- As a writer, who or what has profoundly influenced your literary style and thematic choices?
I have been very strongly influenced by all kinds of female authors. I explicitly no longer write „women’s literature“ since Nicole Seifert’s great book. We women reduce ourselves. But the fact that my topics are primarily for women – I also welcome every male reader – is another matter. „I demand freedom with a roar!“ said Camille Claudel. We women have to shout loud and clear to be heard. „According to the UN Commission on the Status of Women, equality is still „300 years away“, said UN Secretary-General António Guterres – if even a man says that, equality is only light years away.
- How have readers responded to your books, and has any feedback surprised you in particular?
When „Gretl from Böblingen“ (Böblingen is a small town in southern Germany) writes to me that I have „written down her life“ and then I see a photo of this lovely woman, I think to myself „Wow, I can reach anyone! – Gretl has nothing to do with me at all. I think „I am a woman of the people“ and my readers appreciate that. I know what I’m writing about. It’s incredible how many people have reached out to me.
With my openness, I have spoken to many people’s souls.
supporting women and housewives:
- What motivated you to launch the „Hausfrauenrevolution,“ and what are your aspirations for this movement? Could you also share the initiatives featured on your website that aim to empower women and support housewives?
I founded the “Hausfrauenrevolution” (housewife revolution) at a time when social media was still in its infancy. I was an “internet pioneer”. I wanted to use the movement to show that there is simply no society without us mothers. We are the beginning of human life. Without us mothers and housewives, society would collapse. We are also the main consumers. So why are we, who make our society possible, still treated as a minority? Nothing works without us raising children, and even every „white old man“ currently in power and causing us unnecessary wars has a mother at home. Mothers and their children are the ones who suffer most in wars. But we mothers are condemned to silence, mostly to protect our children.
- What do you believe is the most significant challenge facing housewives and women today, and how do you think your work can help address this challenge?
We women tend to constantly define ourselves as housewives, career women, mothers, power women, crazy mothers, thin, fat, beautiful, ugly, old, young, etc. No man would ever think of being pigeonholed like that. I’ve been working on another book for four years called „Knochen zum Nagen” (Bones to Gnaw On). This sentence comes from a 1975 interview with Simone de Beauvoir. The interviewer says to her: „But Mrs de Beauvoir, a lot has changed in politics, there is now a woman minister!“ She waved her hands contemptuously and said: „Oh, they’re just bones to gnaw on, thrown to women to make them think they’re being dealt with!” And that’s the way it is. We sit there and gnaw on the bones and change nothing. That’s why we have to be clear, demand our rights (e.g. equal pay for men and women) and make sure that work and family life are compatible.
relationship with Franz Xaver Kroetz
- Your relationship with Franz Xaver Kroetz has been quite public, and you’ve collaborated on several projects together, including the book ‚Szenen keiner Ehe.‘ How do you reflect on your time together, both personally and professionally? What were some of the most significant moments or experiences that have shaped your relationship, and how have you managed to maintain a collaborative spirit despite your divorce?
To be honest, we only wrote this one book together professionally and before that we had a reading. So it took 35 years before I was on an equal footing with him. A long way to go. We owe our friendship to our three successful children. It was important to me that our children had both their mother and their father after the divorce. We owed them that.
- How do you think your experiences as a mother and your relationship with Franz Xaver Kroetz have influenced your writing style and the themes you explore in your literary works?
Without my experiences I would not have become a writer. I had a good teacher in Franz Xaver, even though he didn’t see me as a student. But I was still his best dramaturge.
Franz Xaver Kroetz is one of the most popular playwrights and gained fame by means of his sociocritical plays. Up to date he has written over 60 stage plays that have run in 40 countries and were translated into 27 different languages. Furthermore, he is the author of many radio plays, screenplays, prose plays and poems. On top of that, he is also known as a director and actor, especially for his role as tabloid reporter Baby Schimmerlos in the TV production Kir Royal. My ex-husband and father of my three wonderful children became my best friend – and new, since “Scenes of No Marriage”, my colleague.
- What inspired you to leave your acting career to focus on raising your three children with Franz Xaver Kroetz, and how did this decision impact your personal and professional life?
My career was „leaving me“ – as a mother of three children, it’s hard to find a job. We are too uncomfortable for the employer and that doesn’t just apply to acting. But I had two children with asthma. If your child turns blue because it can’t breathe, your career doesn’t really matter. And I don’t regret it. I was a mum of three at 28 and became a grandmother at 49. My granddaughter is 9 years old.
MeToo Movement:
- Have you experienced harassment in your work environment? Do you find the #MeToo movement useful in supporting injured women?
I was abused and deflowered by my uncle at the age of 13. I went public with this in “Szenen keiner Ehe” (Scenes of No Marriage). It was important to me to be a voice for victims in the family who would otherwise not be heard. In every classroom there are at least two children who have been abused by their families or relatives. After my experience, no man ever touched me again without my consent, but as a young girl I was defenceless at the time.
- The Me Too movement has had different manifestations around the world. Can you speak to how cultural differences affect the movement’s reception and effectiveness?
I think the whole Me Too debate has made people more aware of the issue of abuse of power. But when I look back at my own experience of coming out, it still turns my stomach. I experienced victim blaming at its worst. It went from the publisher who first told me not to publish the abuse, to a magazine that simply stole my short text of 4 pages and all the other newspapers around the world simply took this „revelation“ – without me as the author having anything to gain from it.
I was accused of having written only for PR purposes about the poor uncle who, being „dead, could no longer defend himself“ and I was even accused of having seduced him like Lolita. And it’s the same for every girl and victims of abuse: you don’t believe them, you pillory them or you keep quiet.
Nothing happened to my uncle, even after the fact, he remains the the big star. I’m just glad that my cousin (his daughter) came out. At least I was able to help one of them.
- The abuse of power in both the cinema and psychology fields is a deeply concerning issue, especially when it involves the exploitation of vulnerable women. In psychology, clients often trust authoritative figures, making them susceptible to manipulation during their emotional struggles. Similarly, in the film industry, directors frequently exploit young women’s ambitions, masking emotional and sexual abuse with promises of success. This culture of intimidation perpetuates victim-blaming, which is both unjust and harmful, silencing victims rather than supporting them.
What are your thoughts on this matter, dear Marie Theres?
Abuse of power, sexual abuse, domestic and verbal violence are to be abhorred and broken by us, the victims, speaking up. Nothing will change if we don’t name the abuses. And do so loudly and clearly.
Other
- Looking back on your journey so far, what are you most proud of, and what lessons have you learned along the way?
I am proud of my three children. And my motto is: never give up, there is always a way to be happy.
- Have you traveled to Iran? And are you familiar with Iranian culture, literature, and cinema?
No, unfortunately I have not yet been to Iran, but I would like to visit your country. I have worked with refugee women for a long time and have learnt a lot about Iran and the way of life through them.
In 2017, I founded the „Cinema Women of All Cultures“ (Kino Frauen aller Kulturen), for which I was awarded the „Integration Prize“. The project is in five cities in Germany and enables women of all cultures, religions and nations to go to the cinema with their children once a month for free.
That’s why I also have some friends who speak Farsi and who are certainly delighted when they learn about their „teacher“ in their own language.
The last Iranian/Israeli film I saw at the Munich Film Festival was Tatami .
Thank you very much for your time
Published in Phoenixnews.ca 20.08.2024
Credits photos in the link:
1) Detlev Schneider, 2) Gisela Schober, 3) Still „Secret Places“, 4) Archiv Relin, 5) Archiv Relin, 6) Martin Hangen